In the Daylight

Its strange to encounter adults who are a lot younger than me.  It's been happening to me regularly as of late.  I'm 35 and by no means "old", however, when I enjoy the company of my younger counterparts, I somehow feel inferior and very aware of my age.

So I have to explore this.  When I was an impressionistic twenty-something, I learned it was important to have friends of all ages.  I had friends ranging in age from 19 - 87.   I did not anticipate that someday, I would no longer be the aspiring artist hungry for inspiration and instead be the actual artist who keeps house and grows gardens.  The one who can tell you what foods to eat for different ailments and how to create healthy relationships.

Anticipated or not, that's who I became.  I'm happy I have some qualities of the women I looked up to, but also a little weary of how fast this happened.

In regards to feeling inferior, that seems like a self esteem problem.  There are plenty of wonderful things about being where I am in life.  I have stability, safety, a partner for the rest of my life, a positive outlook and a better understanding of the important things in life.  Maybe what I have to do is be open to giving inspiration to others instead of looking for it myself.

What I'm really concerned about is the idea that I am done being inspired.  I am fearful of losing my curiosity and wonder.  That's a ridiculous worry to have, but I sure have it.