The Beat.

I really took this picture on 05-17-12
The date is significant, but I'm not sure why yet.

Sometime around the month of May my life started moving in a different direction. I was trying to  recover from several months of uninterrupted pain that started with a minor injury. I tried too many medications, was misdiagnosed multiple times and hired too many professionals. 

During that same time period, I was struggling to end a friendship that was creating stress in my life. I wanted to be free of all pain;emotional and otherwise.

I fired all of the professionals and agreed that I would be in charge of the pain. I decided to do whatever my body asked me to.  This meant skipping a workout when my back was too tight or tired.  It also meant I would stop eating processed food because my body needed optimal fuel to repair itself.

I started to see a Muscle Activation Specialist .  I have only had two sessions, but already see that this is something that could help.  I  am learning to move slow and stop trying to be so extreme at the gym.  My trainer told me that in this situation "less is more" and I believe him.  It looks like plank and resistance bands are going to replace plates and running shoes for a while. 

I am excited to begin healing, but admit that I feel a little bit defeated.  My goal today is to live pain free and maintain my current level of fitness. 

I'm starting to pour my energy into making art and writing.  Doing so helps me see things more clearly.  It's made me strong enough to end the fore mentioned friendship and see that it wasn't a friendship at all. I hope that it will also allow me to accept the healing process.

There is a lot of change happening. 
The good news is that I am still smiling.



"Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity." - Hippocrates